What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

How can one learn to talk frankly?

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

I could never make a relationship work though!

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

How strict are your parents?

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

She found it foreign!.

I was seconnd youngest,

— fri(end)s forever!

She married twice! .

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

I did it because my mum asked me too!

To a flat Earther, what's wrong with the idea that gravity is simply a force inherent to space which operates only in one dimension? Why do they go further and try to deny gravity rather than just saying it's different than physicists claim?

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

I will be 64.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

My mum and dad in the seventies!

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

Why does TikTok allow porn stars in its platform? Isn't it aimed at teenagers?

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

For those who were actually old enough to have experienced the 1970s and not for those who were born in the 70s. What were the pros and cons of that era?

It was going to be , some day.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

What is so great about Jiraiya?

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

I never cut or harmed myself..

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Im still living with it.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

We all went to grammer schools

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

And i lived it daily.

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

And who doesn’t know suffering?

As i do to all so called friends.?

My family never makes their pension either.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

What did i know ?

I was very sick at this time too.

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

Ive learnt so much.

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

When she asked me how she looked .

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

Who then, do I blame.?

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

This is how, and why children get BPD.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

So whats the point in blame.

Where the ultimate outsiders.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

He was dying to do it , i knew.

I said to her

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

I think the readers, may guess!

We were not on the streets..

All the time i was locked up.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

Put me off passion for life!!

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

(And it was in our own minds.)

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

I waited trembling.

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

He resisted the act ,that day.

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

He knew the spot.

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

I write beautiful poetry .

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

I have no regrets .

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

I was scared of men, in general

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

Would this be the day?

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

She loved him until the end.

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

But, we were locked up after school.

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

One cannot live in the past .

I know ,a lot about trauma.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

But ive been too sick for many years..

Was to survive, this bastard.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

She was in good health!

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

They are buried together, in the same grave..

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

She wouldn,t have been !

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

This is soul school!.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

Especially a lifetime of it.

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

So, i spoilt her more .

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

My life is so biszare .

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

I don,t even have a pension.

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

Comes on , in middle age.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

But it wasn’t much.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

I was 9 years of age.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

Why did i forgive my father ?

On the 31st of Jan this month .

I couldn’t, believe it.